Brooke Marie

Cook. Explore. Eat. Repeat
Favorites

Sneak Peak of My Novel: Alone Part 2

My name is Aubrey. I’m running around this story called life amidst a long painful existence of loneliness and neglect. Situations with men always seem to leave me flailing; I’ve never been able to settle down, it’s been years since I’ve found love, and even when I feel I might be falling… some whim of disappointment turns my outlook to the ground.

The male gender has always lied, betrayed, and never trusted me — leaving me helpless, closed off, and judgmental. It’s been so long since I’ve felt needed, I’m not sure I know how to allow someone to love me, for I can’t believe anyone is worthy of my trust.

I’ve tried so hard to let the past go, but there will always be something inside of me, stopping me from letting pure emotion overpower my minds’ infinite doubt. My paranoia is chasing the truth away… my sanity has been taken captive by skepticism. I don’t like to play the blame game, but throughout my life… I’ve encountered many prospects in my search for trust, honesty and respect; but have been given nothing but neglect, adultery and mistreatment. Due to these negative thoughts that linger, I keep myself busy with work, drinking, and partying, so I never have to regard the reality that I am, and have always been, Alone.

———————————-

Growing up in my house was like growing up in a museum. Except in this museum there were no friendly curators or archivists, just statues, paintings, and me not being able to enjoy, touch, or look at any of them.

“Don’t touch that you’ll break it!” Shouted my dad on a daily basis.

Telling a 5 year old not to touch some precious new sculpture you spent thousands of dollars on in some foreign country you never brought me to, is ridiculous. My dad was, well is, some high powered executive at an international law firm which meant he traveled all the time and he still does. I rarely saw him then, so I never see him now. When I did see him it was for a brief moment where he paid me off to keep me from complaining too much. And off he went on another work related trip.

Luckily, I had a pretty nice nanny taking care of me, but nothing can replace the love of a Father and a Mother. My mom left when I was in elementary school, so I barely remember anything about her. I just remember that she was beautiful. I remember her long, wavy brown hair and piercing blue eyes… I just wish she would’ve stuck around to help me through my years of teenage malaise.

Anyway, I don’t care anymore. I mean, I try not to care about my childhood. In all honesty I try not to think about it at all. I have a great job, tons of money, the best clothes in my closet. I can pretty much do whatever I want, whenever I want. I don’t need to work, but I do because otherwise I’d probably have no social life. None of my coworkers or graduate class buddies really enjoy the “rustic” things I enjoy, but…I’m in NYC. Shopping, drinking, and doing coke at the club is fine by me. But somehow I can’t stop this feeling that I am alone.

Check out Part 1 Here

14 Comment

  1. Greetings from Florida! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to check out your site on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the info you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m amazed at how quick your blog loaded on my cell phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, amazing blog!

  2. My spouse and I stumbled over here from a different pageand thought I might check things out. I like what I see so now i amfollowing you. Look forward to going over your web page again.

  3. We are a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your web site offered us with valuable info to work on. You’ve done an impressive job and our entire community will be grateful to you.

  4. Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this info. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossips and web and this is actually irritating. A good web site with exciting content, this is what I need. Thanks for keeping this site, I’ll be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can not find it.

  5. hey there and thanks to your information – I have certainly picked up something new from proper here. I did however experience a few technical issues using this site, as I skilled to reload the site a lot of occasions previous to I could get it to load correctly. I have been wondering in case your hosting is OK? No longer that I am complaining, but slow loading cases occasions will often have an effect on your placement in google and can harm your quality score if ads and ***********|advertising|advertising|advertising and *********** with Adwords. Well I am including this RSS to my e-mail and could look out for much more of your respective intriguing content. Make sure you replace this again soon..

  6. I wish to voice my gratitude for your generosity in support of persons who must have guidance on in this theme. Your personal commitment to passing the solution all around had been wonderfully important and have in most cases empowered employees much like me to get to their goals. This warm and helpful key points entails a whole lot to me and even further to my peers. Regards; from each one of us.

  7. First of all I want to say terrific blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
    I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your
    mind prior to writing. I’ve had a difficult time clearing
    my mind in getting my thoughts out there. I truly do take pleasure in writing however it just seems
    like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually wasted simply just trying to figure out how to
    begin. Any recommendations or tips? Many thanks!

  8. I’m not posijtive where you’re getting your information, but great
    topic. I must spend some time studying more or working oout more.
    Thanks for excellent info I was searching for this info for mmy mission.

  9. You can certainly see your expertise in the paintings you write. The arena hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. At all times go after your heart.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *