I know a lot of people that have trouble with boundaries. That is something I once had issues with as well, but now I must say that I am true to myself no matter what. I’m not the kind of person who will sit by and condone mistreatment, nor will I feel guilty for telling someone off. Being true to yourself in a relationship is hard, but in order to love another you must love yourself.
Getting to Know Yourself
One reason why you must love yourself first is to get to know you, before clouding your judgement with the needs and desires of someone else. If you are incapable of knowing yourself first, it’s going to be impossible to stay true to yourself while being in a relationship with someone else.
Check In With Yourself
Relationships can make you question certain aspects of yourself because your significant other gets upset with certain things you do. Make sure to check in with yourself from time to time. Are you being true to who you are while still respecting the other person? Or have you completely let go of your own values and morals to keep the peace? Don’t let someone else change who you are. If they can’t accept you with your flaws, set that boundary and keep moving.
Listen to That Inner Voice
If there is something telling you to move on, or to set a specific boundary due to something your friend/loved one/ or significant other has done or said, listen. Don’t push away your thoughts and hopes and desires because someone else puts you down. Set that healthy boundary so you listen to yourself. Most of the time your gut is right.
It’s Okay to Say No
Don’t say yes because you’re scared to rock the boat. Saying yes can lead to you forgetting who you are and forgetting what you need. This goes well with the last two points, check in with yourself before you say yes, and listen to your inner voice. If you don’t want to do something because you fear it may cause resentment, just say no. Don’t feel bad for saying no, but make sure you say yes sometimes, especially if you’re in a committed relationship.
Take control of your own life. Don’t let others dictate what you should or should not be doing. Only you can make decisions because at the end of the day you are the main one who has to deal with the consequences.